Answer:

itchycoil:

Easily

Which ape has the strongest concept of sin

Answer:

pissvortex:

All chimps are devout catholics but go to hell by choice

i served cunt at a funeral today

Answer:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

i don’t know why people send me stuff like this. i’m happy for you, or condolences. it’s none of my business

what-even-is-thiss:

himbo-ted:

Why am i wheezing at this

Keanu Reeves is like that one straight dude in your psychology class that handles you coming out better than literally everyone you know for no understandable reason even though he knows nothing about anything

(via thesarcasticlady)

phantomrose96:

Adulthood is like I have to go buy more shampoo. I have to go buy more coffee grounds. I have to go buy more eggs. I have to go buy more toilet paper. I have to go buy more paper towels. I have to go buy more cumin. I have to clean the dishes so they can get dirty again. I have to do my laundry so it can get dirty again. I have to clean the bathroom so it can get dirty again. I have to buy more cleaner to clean the bathroom. I have to go buy more rice. I have to cook dinner. I have to cook dinner. I have to go buy more shampoo again.

(via thesarcasticlady)

hero-in-high-tops:

1337n00b-deactivated20210119:

probably-lucifer:

tdwhisperer:

hellsite-yano:

imp:

*learns basic social skills well into my 20s that most people know by the time theyre like 11*

having strict parents will do that to you

Having autism will do that

Having ADHD will do that to you

Being LGBT will do that to you

(via justdreamingzzz)

anxietyproblem:

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

doccywhomst:

funnytwittertweets:

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

yourbigsisnissi:

People often mistake “your feelings are valid” with “your reaction based on your feelings is ok”

Which isn’t the same thing

You’re entitled to how you feel. You’re not entitled to behave however you want based off of those feelings

(via justdreamingzzz)

beauty-in-healing:

margotkim:

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

(via hotboyproblems)